Beer beach isn’t noted as a fishing hotspot, but as I was staying in this charming village and I could fish without having to drive anywhere, it looked worth a shot. I baited up two flapper rigs with the high-quality ragworm I’d sourced from the nearby Seaton Angling Centre and cast out as the midsummer light was fading.

The music starts:

Shine bright like a diamond
Shine bright like a diamond
Shine bright like a diamond
We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky

Would you believe it? On an otherwise deserted beach, a teenage beach party breaks out right next to me. Uh oh! Looks like they’re going for a swim. One girl traces in the air where she thought our lines are going, then in a blur of bikinis, splashing, shrieking and extended home-counties vowels, half a dozen revellers plunge in.  The water is cold. Surely just a brief dip will be all the bathers can take? To their credit – and my disappointment – they stick it out for quite a decent length of time.

Say it ain’t so,
I will not go,
Turn the lights off,
Carry me home

I reel in the untouched bait, and walk up the hill in the dark.